It's been awhile...

I realized it's been almost two months since I have had a chance to write anything...what a busy but fruitful two months this has been.

March/April brought Lent/Holy Week/Easter, my birthday and TEC 104 all within three weeks of each other. Talk about craziness. Though I have to admit, I got much more down time then I had anticipated especially during the TEC weekend that I had the honor and privilege of working. Any one on one time with God for me is a gift and a blessing. I hate to admit it, but the older and busier I get the less I have taken time to spend one on one with God before the Blessed Sacrament, and I am determined to try my very best to change that in the later half of this year.

As April gave way to May my family had a life style change, my father retired from the trade that he worked in for 46 years, helping a good friend with a project, and there is also the celebration of graduation for 4 of my Newman Campus Ministry students this weekend. I am so proud of all of them and the fine young men and the young woman they have become. Though I've only had a year and a half with them as Campus Minister, they have continued to leave a lasting impression on me. I am very excited for them and the future opportunities they are getting to experience as they all begin new chapters in their lives.

That being said, another busy summer ahead, more graduate school classes (the light at the end of that tunnel is much nearer then it has been), the annual Campus Ministry Leadership Institute at John Carroll University in the beginning of June, my annual mission trip with my Mission of Hope family to Detroit at the end of July, and somewhere in there softball season and hopefully a little bit of vacation time as well.

A good reminder for me and for all of us as the busy time of the summer gets underway and people head off on Summer Vacations, barbecues and picnics, and all the other aspects of summer..."our hearts are restless until they rest in God." Make sure you get some good God time in as well, just because you are on vacation, doesn't mean you can take one from God, he never takes a vacation from you!

Peace and All Good!

~ Carol

Life/Lent's Sacrifices

Okay so I'm not gonna lie. Lent this year for me has probably been one of the most spiritually challenging ones of my life. But I also think it's going to turn out to be one of the most fruitful, after some heavy pruning, as well.

All throughout Lent we hear about how we are supposed to give things up and sacrifice and pray. I tell you I've prayed more in the last three weeks, been to Mass more in the last three weeks, wept more, cried more, struggled more, and down right didn't like what I discovered through all those moments.

Don't get me wrong, the Mass part, that's been amazing...thank you Holy Spirit for the gift of wonder and awe which you gave to me the day I made my confirmation :)...I don't know if it's been because of the spiritual and emotional battles I've been fighting with personally, but that has been the greatest gift I've gotten so far this Lenten season. The other thing that I've found that's often left me in wonder and also a little awe this Lent are the wonderful homilies I've heard from the different priests who were celebrating the Masses I attended. Granted, most were at my parish but a few weren't and the ones that weren't left me with lessons as much as the ones that were. I think the homily that has really hit home a lot with me this Lent was one given by my pastor Fr. Joe. Fr. Joe is about five months younger then me so for anyone under the age of 34 we probably seem ancient to you...and for those of you older then that, we may seem as if we are just young pups still wet behind the ears :)

Anyway, getting back to this homily thing. It was just 11 days ago when Fr. Joe was supposed to undergo a kidney transplant. Unfortunately as has been the case for him over the last year he hit a road block and the transplant surgery was put on hold (As an aside, if you could please lift Fr. Joe and his donor Jim up in prayer I would be grateful and I know they would be too). So at the Mass that was supposed to be a celebration of a "successful" transplant it turned into a celebration of life, and the gift that Fr. Joe and his donor Jim, who happens to be a fellow parishioner with me, were able to partake in.

As Fr. Joe shared his story through priesthood and his health journey, which us parishioners have been walking along with him this last year, he shared 4 lessons, that I have been carrying with me over the last 11 days since I heard them. The first lesson is patience. What a lesson that is. See I am one of the least patient people you will ever meet. I get very impatient over many things, having to wait in long lines at the store, having to wait on people who are running behind when we have a specific time to meet (I am almost always early), I get impatient waiting for people to return a text message, and most of all I get impatient in prayer. So as Fr. Joe was sharing his stories of patience I found myself humming in my head a song that I learned in a school music program back in elementary school...."have patience, have patience, don't be in such a hurry, when you get impatient you only start to worry, remember, remember, that God is patient too, and think of all the times when others have to wait for you!" Corny I know but it's stuck with me all these years and I find myself over and over again humming that song quietly to myself when I start to get impatient with someone else, and found myself singing it in my head as I listened to the rest of his longer than normal homily. The night was all about him so it was okay :)

The second lesson that Fr. Joe shared in his homily that night was prayer. Well, duh! There's a no brainer. But he stopped me in my tracks figuratively when he said that. I realized I wasn't giving my prayer life the time and attention it deserved. Sure I was praying my rote prayers but it was lacking the richness that it's had in the past. Thankfully, between this homily and a invisible WHACK! over the head from God, it's gotten back on track, and I've spent many fruitful hours before the Lord in Adoration and prayer.

The third lesson Fr. Joe talked about was perseverance. Now if anyone would have wanted to give up by now it would be Fr. Joe, but surprisingly he hasn't. He shared that yes there had been times he wanted to just give up and asked the question why me? but that little spark of something that we all have called determination kicked in and he's successfully over come every obstacle so far that's come his way. He says it's due to the wonderful care of his family who helped get him healthy through his hospital stays, the words of encouragement from friends, parishioners and others and most importantly through prayer and lots of it! How often do we find ourselves wanting to just give up and throw in the towel? Don't get me wrong it's not always that cut and dry, sometimes you really do just need to give up and let go in certain circumstances especially when things are not life giving anymore and aren't really bearing fruit.

The last lesson Fr. Joe told us was attentiveness. Again here came that WHACK!, my head was starting to throb at that point...LOL...but he went on to say and point out how all of his struggles and his health journey this last year have helped him become more attentive. Not just as a pastor, but as a friend, a son and a child of God. He said he now notices the little things that often get over looked, the people we don't always appreciate, the looks on people's faces if they are happy or sad, and lots of other things we often overlook. Know anyone in your life that you are overlooking and not being attentive to? Anything in your life that you are overlooking, and not being attentive to?

This Lent so far, seeing as how we are only two weeks in and still have about four weeks to go has also taught me a lot about life, and a lot about what it means to truly sacrifice. Now some haven't been huge sacrifices, in fact some have been very small...but one thing I've learned is that it really isn't a sacrifice if it isn't done out of love.

If you've ever made a TEC retreat you understand what I am talking about, and for those of you who haven't well let me try to explain. The greatest sacrifice any of us as both Catholics and Christians have ever been given was done out of love on a cross by a man. A man who gave His life, so that we might have life. Talk about love, and sacrifice.

Speaking of love here is a great saying that we have in the TEC community that I belong to here in Northeast Ohio. This was on a plaque that was attached to a statue at a church the community visited in LeRoy, NY back in January while we were on our way to Syracuse, the bottom part is what we say often at our retreats...

When we talk about love it often loses it's true meaning. Love is one of the most over used words in the English language. I am sure whoever came up with that word never intended for it to be used in the way it has in society today. Some examples would be, I love my phone, I love my car, I love my dog, I love this, I love that....love, love, love. It doesn't mean anything anymore.

I've always been a big believer in the often heard phrase..."actions speak louder than words," do your actions everyday show the love that's in your heart as a Catholic or as a Christian to your fellow neighbor? Do you show your love for others by holding a door for someone, or smiling at them? Do you show love by dropping what you are doing and going to help a friend in need? Do you show love by praying for someone you may not even know? Do you give your love away? or do you keep it locked up because by loving someone we are bound to be hurt? 

Yes with love also comes hurt and pain. But isn't it worth it? Isn't it worth the small and even the large sacrifices we make for our friends, for our families, for those who might be strangers? When is the last time you called a friend just because, or asked them to spend time with you? When was the last time you watched a child sleeping peacefully, and got rid of all other distractions and just watched?

It's those little moments we are called to love. For that's what love is. It's moments when we drop everything for a friend, or go out of our way to do something for someone else, it's picking up the telephone (novel concept I know with the ease and convenience of texting) and have a conversation with them. It's those moments when you are out with people who are "important" to you that you put down your cell phone, your iPad, your laptop, your digital device and reconnect and show them how much you love them. Yes, it's even in those moments that are hard and we want to smack someone upside the head or shake some sense into them, or when we are madder then hornets who have just been woken up, with someone we are called to love them. Jesus didn't stop loving the woman at the well just because she was a Samaritan and He was a Jew. (Prelude to this the Third Sunday of Lent's Gospel) Just because she was a sinner, and was doing things that were not good He never stopped loving her. What did He do? He sacrificed for her....He sat talking with her when he knew He could be killed by just being in her presence (Jews and Samaritans at that time in history were not supposed to be anywhere near each other in public, and most wells in the towns and villages that Jesus ministered in were right smack dab in the center of them where everyone could see them and access them, it could have caused scandal and severe punishment such as death if they were seen together). Just as He sacrificed for all of us as he hung on a wooden cross. So the next time you are wrapped up in your own little world, rushing here and there, busy with other things and distractions, busy with what you want, what you need, what you desire, take a moment to STOP and think about how Jesus dropped everything He could have done or wanted to do and gave His life to you and for you so that you could have the life you have today.

May your Lenten journey be a blessed one.

Peace,

Carol

The Spirituality of St. Ignatius...& My take on it

We are already one month and 7 days into a new year and I can not believe how much I have learned in such a short amount of time. Guess the old adage of "you're never too old to learn something new," is true.

In the last two weeks, I've learned a lot. I've learned how to use all the "new" media as a tool in my ministry (notice I didn't say work, there's a difference). And just last night I learned I dig St. Ignatius and his spirituality. Okay so while this may not be a shocker for some people, this is a spiritual break through for me. I finally get all the "theology" and "spiritual" knowledge my professors and my spiritual director have been trying to get me to see over the last three years (Cue the light bulb).

While at a local "Theology on Tap"  (TOT) with about 40 or so other "Young Adults" and some not so "young" adults I learned to truly appreciate the beauty and simplicity of Ignatius' spiritual exercises (No wonder I love Pope Francis so much!) The topic for the evening was "Does the Pope really expect us to get naked?" Now I know this may sound a bit racy...trust me it wasn't. It was the presenter's (who happens to be a wonderful person and someone I am glad to call a friend and mentor) way of getting our attention to draw us into the spirituality of Pope Francis and the other Jesuits in the world. It was also her way of getting those of us in the room to have a conversation about worldliness and how we'd define it, and show us a new way that we can encounter God each day.

She shared some great stuff with us, even a video on the man who was disfigured that Pope Francis embraced and how it's changed his life (watch that video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2XhoxuwaAc), and the concepts of detachment and Ignatian Indifference, through a simple breakdown to help us understand how we really do need to "get naked" spiritually (by dying to self) and look at areas in our lives that maybe aren't so pleasant and pretty, things that we do that we would be ashamed to admit. No one ever said they were perfect right?

The point I want to make is this, how does the example of Pope Francis, and the spirituality of St. Ignatius effect me or us who are Catholic or even Christian?

As was explained at TOT, detachment through the spiritual exercises (yes the ones from St. Ignatius) helps us to uncover our compulsions and attachments in life so that we can let go (detach) of our idols (or things) and take the risk of meeting God a new way each day.

 A great example of Ignatian indifference from the talk was how Pope Francis is always climbing out of his "Popemobile" and walking amongst the people. I related to what the speaker had to say, that every time she or I see Pope Francis climb out of the pope mobile or walking somewhere amongst the crowds, there's a part of both of us that wants to shout at the Holy Father and say "are you crazy, get back into the Pope mobile, you could get hurt!" She was referring to the shooting of Pope John Paul II, I was thinking along the same lines.  Now mind you I don't remember a lot of what happened when John Paul II was shot, I was only 1 at the time, but I do remember hearing about the after effects and how it changed him and the way he ministered. This is where Pope Francis shows us Ignatian indifference. The concept of Ignatian indifference comes into play through a sense of being detached from creatures (things, like the pope mobile), having an absolute love for God (Pope Francis! Need I say more??? How many times do we see pictures of him kneeling in prayer before the altar with rosary beads clutched in his hand), seeking God in all things (yes in even the bad stuff), and lovingly choosing whatever God wills (that last papal conclave ring a bell).

Did you catch that last part...God's will. Not my will or what I want or what you may want. What God wants. How do we know what God wants for us. Simple through prayer, through listening to what others who believe the way we do are trying to tell us, by spending time in scripture. That's the only way we will know God's will.

Still not making sense I'll use the examples that the presenter gave us. 

We will look at Ignatian spirituality through 3 lenses relationships, things and desires of the heart.

Let's look at the lens of relationships first. The principle and foundation of relationships is this: the human person is created to praise, reverence, and serve God Our Lord, and by doing so, to save his or her soul. Sounds simple enough right? What does this look like through non-attachment (detachment): it's the ability to accept wholeheartedly that I am (we are, you are) a beloved child of God. Again simple enough. Moving on....it's also the ability to maintain an emotional bond of love, concern and caring without a need to control, fix, rescue, blame or change the other. WHOA! Kind of mind blowing isn't it. It's what we are taught (at least if you are Catholic or even Christian) what love, marriage and relationships are all about. I know guys (those who may be reading this of the male gender) you will tell me: what do I need a girlfriend or relationship for all she will want to do is change me! WRONG! Apparently you weren't paying attention to what I just said...it's about maintaining an emotional bond of love without a need to change the other. We as a society are sadly teaching our young people, and it's being carried with them into adulthood, that in order to be in a successful relationship we need to change the other. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Love isn't about changing someone, it's about excepting them for who they are, what they are, and the way they are. That's it plain and simple. Get it? Good.

Now, let's take a look at the lens of things. We all have things. Cars, cell phones, iPods, iPhones, computers, digital TVs etc. But do we look at things the way St. Ignatius does? The principle and foundation of things is this: all other things on the face of the earth are created for human beings (that's us) in order to HELP them pursue the end for which they are created. Notice the word help in there. Help means to assist with a need, something we all have, the need to communicate and be connected, the need to get around from place to place, the need to have shelter and food and clothing. Things don't need to consume us and make us rely on them for everything. I don't know about you but my cell phone or my iPod won't feed me, yours might....just kidding :) St. Ignatius also says that it follows from this that one must use other created things (notice he said things and not people), in so far as they HELP towards one's end, and free oneself from them, in so far as they are obstacles to one's end. You may be thinking what they heck does that mean? Let's look at the first part of this. "one must use other created things, technology for example, to help (there's that word again) towards one's end. What is one's end...one's end goal is to get to heaven. How do we do that, by being holy, and helping each other get holy, and become saints here on earth. Now the second part, "they free oneself from them as the are obstacles to one's end." You might be scratching your head thinking what? Here's how I think of it. Say you have this thing, maybe an addiction to your phone, drugs, alcohol, pornography whatever it could be. And this thing (addiction) consumes you. It's all you think about, it's taking over your life, pulling you away from the relationships and people in your life that we all want. This thing is taking you away from being that beloved child of God. It's not serving him, it's serving ourselves. And when we serve only ourselves and not God or others it's a pretty lonely and sad life we live. Make more sense now? We need to put aside, or overcome, or get rid of our things and make room for God to come in and lead us to His will. Only when we realize that can we truly be accept that we are a beloved child of God. After all he sacrificed (or gave up) the only thing he had...his entire life there on a wooden cross, broken and bleeding for all of us. If that's not love...then I don't know what is.

Finally let's take a look at the last lens, that of desires of the heart. To fully understand the desires of the heart the principle and foundation is to do this, we need to make ourselves indifferent to all created things, provided the matter is subject to our free choice and there is no other prohibition. Thus, as far as we are concerned, we should not want health more than illness, wealth more than poverty, fame more that disgrace, a long life more than a short one, and similarly for all the rest, but we should desire and choose only what helps us more towards the end for which we are created. What's this saying? It's saying that we have to be indifferent, we need to be detached from all creatures (or things) in a way that we don't lose sight of God, we never stop seeking Him, and always lovingly choose whatever God wills. I know it's not easy. No one ever said life would be. We have to remain detached and indifferent however if we truly want the best relationships, the best things and the desires of our hearts. 

However, there is that human thing. We as humans try to substitute human nature for understanding of these lens. Here's what Henri Nouwen says are our human substitutes for the distorted views of love we have - remember these are not God's love - but our poor attempts and human substitutes for it.

Exculsive love - "To love me, you must love others less" the result of this human substitute - Vanity - you must see something special in me (no wonder it's one of the 7 deadly sins)

Possessive love - "If you love me, you will pay special attention to me" the result of this human substitute - jealousy - why are you interested in someone/something else? (there's that sin thing again)

Manipulative love - "If you love me, you will do extra things for me" the result - anger - why did you let me down/reject me?

So as you can see total opposites of what St. Ignatius and Pope Francis are trying to teach and show all of us. The only way is love. The only way is through the desires of our hearts which should be to be in relationship with God, with the help of other humans at times, not focused on things (turn off the cell phones and TV when others are around and sit down and have a meal or a conversation together) and help one another grow closer to God become the holy people we are meant to be and become saints to each other hear on earth.

God Bless,

~ Carol

Happy New Year

Happy New Year! Hope your holidays whatever faith tradition you are were a wonderful time of family and friends and fun!

As I have been reflecting a lot on all that has happened in the last year, and trust me when I say it's been a rough one, the amount of change and growth that has happened with me is amazing. It's like I've become a completely new person. That's the neat thing about the new year. We get to start all over again fresh with no mistakes. I thought this was an appropriate theme for a New Year post seeing as in the Roman Catholic tradition we celebrate this weekend the baptism of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I always love a baptism. To see new parents with so much joy in their hearts and on their faces as they celebrate their new little person, and the reactions of that new little person, as they get the water poured over their little head. It makes me wonder how Mary and Joseph looked, and what they were feeling as they watched their son Jesus, be welcomed into their Jewish faith. Now while the events that occur at a Catholic baptism and a Jewish one are different in a way they are the same. They welcome the new baby into a community of love, faith and support that goes back hundreds and hundreds of years. What an awesome gift that is for both the parents and the baby and all who are there to celebrate with them.

For Catholics, baptism is when we are made pure, and a new image in Christ, where we are cleansed of original sin, and are commissioned to go forth and share the good news of Jesus. A rather incredible and overwhelming task for that little person, which unfortunately they won't even begin to understand until much later in their lives, if they ever really do. At the same time what a tremendous responsibility for the parents. They are promising before God, and on occasion the entire faith community, that they will raise the child to the best of their abilities and instruct them in the ways of their faith. Such a monumental task in our modern age. I applaud the parents who do this faithfully everyday and continue to pray with all of them that their son or daughter will one day carry on the great mission of evangelization that each of us are called to.

So think of all the "new" things you can do this year. This year I made a resolution to just enjoy the moments of everyday life and those who share our lives with us, as well as to continue to be like Jesus to others whether they are friend or foe. I will do my best to love them like Jesus did. We've been given a clean slate to move forward, put what happened last year, good or bad, behind us and start again anew. What an awesome gift!

May God Bless You Always,
Carol

Are you doing all you can for those in need?

I know some of you reading this may already know this about me, but for those that don't, I love to spend one week out of my summer vacation (at least for the last 2 summers) going on a mission trip with the Mission of Hope ministry group from my parish St. Joseph in Strongsville, Ohio. It’s my way of spreading the Gospel message, and sharing our baptismal call with others throughout the state.

Each year a number of us from the parish, and sometimes other parishes, travel together to different areas of our great state of Ohio, and surrounding states (past trips include West Virginia and Kentucky and even New Orleans) giving of our hearts, time and talents to those who need assistance or those who live in poverty (sometimes through no fault of their own). 

The main goal of the Mission of Hope is two-fold: first, to seek out areas to work where a need exists either from a natural disaster or poverty; and second, to commit and respond to this need as a community of faithful believers in Jesus Christ as directed by the Holy Spirit. 

This mission work has greatly enriched my life in many ways. When I first went on one of these trips I had very little skill in anything, from painting, to landscaping, to cleaning, to carpentry, to cooking. You name it and it was not a skill I had. Through lots of patience and time on the trip thanks to the various people who come on the trip with us, I can paint a house, wall, shed, room, floor, or ceiling almost as good as a professional. I can also cut insulation, do some demolition, landscaping and floor tiling as well. My faith has also grown since taking my first trip. I discovered I was rather selfish and stingy with my catholic faith by not sharing it, or sharing it with only certain people. These trips often make you leave your comfort zone and challenge you in ways you'll never imagine.

The work is often hard, and tiring, and dirty, but even through all that, the joy and often peace you take away with you and find each day is invaluable. We don't have deluxe accommodations, we bring air mattresses with us and sleep on floors in churches, rectories, classrooms, meeting rooms, old sacristies, or church libraries but even in that there is joy and peace to be found in the experience of sharing it with others. We also eat very well on these trips! The sense of family and community you take away with you each day and from each trip is amazing.

We not only work hard, but we play just as hard. Sometimes it's a simple quiet night in playing various board and card games with one another, talking to one another, going to a concert in a park together, visiting a site of interest in the areas where we work, having a picnic in a park, making a run for ice cream or even an impromptu game of kickball. Those moments change you as an individual and change each of us on the trip as well. Laughter and exhaustion are abundant but so is our love and joy we have for God and our catholic faith and for each other and the work we do. 

Anyway getting back to this Baptismal call thing. God calls us all go out, to love one another, serve one another and spread the Gospel to one another, and if necessary use words (though if memory serves me correctly that last part is from St. Francis of Assisi). 

It's through these mission trips that I have grown by leaps and bounds. I have met so many people, not just within my parish but within the larger communities that we work and been to many different areas in our state. I've learned that just because someone isn't catholic like I am or like all of us missionaries are, our common bond is usually our love for God. We may all pray to Him, and worship Him in different ways, but He is still the same God. I've met Methodists, Baptists, Non-Denominational Christians, Church of the Nazarenes' and even some who don't believe in God at all, but by the time the work that our little group does for these people (whatever you do for the least of these you do for me...) hearts and lives are changed forever. We become a part of those we assist, and they become a part of us as do the communities we visit each year as well.

The experience of these trips has been very life changing. I no longer just walk past people, I really look at them, make eye contact, smile or say "hello" or "good morning." We all want the same thing in life, a roof over our heads, food to eat, a way to take care of our families, and most importantly we all just want to be loved, and have someone love us in return, whether it be for a week, a day, or a lifetime.

So remember, it doesn't have to be something big. It could be something as simple as sitting around and listening to a lonely older person sharing a story with you on a beautiful summer day under the shade of a big tree in their backyard, or it could be cleaning up a yard for an old man on a mobility scooter who doesn't believe in God and thinks religion is nonsense, or it could simply be participating in Mass with a community of believers from Guatemala, or listening to the laughter and singing of a group of teenagers from Burundi Africa outside an open window. Whatever it is, get out and do something by experiencing it. 

I plan to go on my third trip this summer. Where our destination will be only God and the Holy Spirit know, but I am sure that wherever it is, lives and hearts will be changed, the Gospel message will be spread and the love we have for our God and each other will be shared. 

May God Bless you always,

Carol

If you'd like to learn more about the mission work that the Mission of Hope team from St. Joseph in Strongsville does, please visit http://www.sjohio.org/missionofhope. Or if you'd like to help with our fundraising efforts please join us for:

Pancake Breakfast with Santa
December 1, 2013, 8:30am to 12:00pm

Menu includes: Pancakes, eggs, hash browns, sausage, fruit,

Danish, coffee, juice and milk.

Suggested Donation: $5.00 for children (10 and under) and

Seniors, $10 for adults

PLEASE JOIN US

All proceeds will be used for local and outreach mission work. Thank you for your support!

Free picture with Santa! (per family with children)

Please note: All fundraising events usually take place at St. Joseph Church in Strongsville located at 12700 Pearl Road. Come and see how we as not only the Mission of Hope live out the Gospel message to love one another but see how our parish does this as we gather as a community of believers for Mass on the weekends or by exploring one of the many activities and events we host throughout the week.

Discerning Life's Path

Yesterday kicked off the first day of my "first full year" of being campus minister. While it was a success, I am reminded of how blessed I am to have this opportunity. Thanks to my many years of being a parish ministry volunteer, and exposure to the diocesan seminary, I've made acquaintances and friends with a number of priests and seminarians here in my diocese. It's through those relationships that I am able to bring in the "big guns" when needed.

Yesterday was one of those days. I brought in our local diocesan vocation director. Now you might be thinking why would I do that, and then again you might not. I brought him in to focus my students, student leaders, and faculty/staff about the process of discerning one's call (vocation) and the process of discernment and that by going through this process one can discover what God has in store for them. While we only touched the tip of the iceberg yesterday more conversations like it are needed and in the works for our campus ministry program.

Vocation is such an interesting word. I've heard the word many times but never really knew it's definition. So I turned to the Internet and the handy website dictionary.com to find out what the word actually means.

Dictionary.com defines vocation a number of ways: the first being, a particular occupation, business, or profession; calling. Okay, that makes sense. The second a strong impulse or inclination to follow a particular activity or career. So basically the reason we choose the fields that we do. The third a divine call to God's service or to the Christian life. Wow. Divine call, that's some pretty heady stuff. The fourth and final one a function or station in life to which one is called by God: (IE: the religious vocation; the vocation of marriage.) In essence priesthood or religious life. Still with me? 

Let's break down parts three and four of that definition, the parts about the divine call to God's service, and the function or station in life. Father shared with my students a few great examples. The first being the sacrament of Baptism. Through Baptism we are called to vocation. Not following me? Baptism is our divine call or vocation, it's God's way of telling us He wants us to be of service to him and the Christian life. We are called at our Baptism to go out and share the Good News, share God with others. This is our first vocation. The next example that Father gave to my students was that of ordinary people. He showed pictures of some of our popular and well known biblical characters. Let's use one or two as an example. The two that he gave that I particularly liked was that of the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Dismas. 

Let's start by looking at Mary. Mary was a girl between the ages of 13-15. A baby by today's standards, yet she was already engaged to a much older man, and then she finds out that she has been chosen by God for a vocation that far surpasses any she could of possibly imagined. He chose her, of all the other girls in the world to be a mother to His Son. Can you imagine what was going through her head? I am sure some of the arguments we would give in today's day and age. I'm too young. I want to do more, I am not ready for this, I am not even married yet. What will everyone say? What will my parents say? What will Joseph say? All completely normal questions and thoughts. The one thing about it though that stuck with me through that explanation was how Mary answered. God told Mary he wanted her to be of service to Him. She said Yes to that call and in the end gave birth to a Savior. Talk about divine will!

Next lets take a look at St. Dismas. Now, this is a guy who I knew nothing about. I didn't even know who he really was. I had heard his name in passing but never really explored it. St. Dismas was one of the thieves that was crucified alongside Jesus. He was the one that Jesus promised would be with Him in heaven. Talk about mind blowing. Here is a guy that obviously committed such horrible crimes that he was put to death by being tied to a cross stuck in the ground. Yet what happened? He was called to vocation by God. He was called to believe. Belief that Jesus really was who He said He was and that as long as Dismas believed that he would have eternal life. Not much is said about St. Dismas after that, but I know for me I couldn't even imagine what was going through his head or his heart upon hearing those words. Ironically, I find a bit of comfort in those words that Jesus spoke on the cross to Dismas. 

Basically the Christian life is believing in God, and allowing Him to work in your life so that you can live out the so called "plans" or vocation He has for you. Here's where the discernment piece fits.

Now I know you're going to ask me what's discernment? And how do I do it? Simply discernment is a process of prayer. Prayer that takes on five stages. I got these five stages from a different talk I heard my diocesan vocation director give, and they stuck with me. They stuck so good in fact, that I wrote them down and have them on my desk at work and refer to them pretty regularly for situations in my own life.

Father said that the five stages of discernment consist of attraction, latency, response, decision, and engagement. It's my hope that my understanding of them helps you to understand how this process works. Let's look at stage one. Attraction. Attraction is where God comes in and interrupts our thoughts, ideas, and plans with a new idea. A new possibility. How many times have we been attracted to things, drawn to things, attracted to a new thought or idea and then all of the sudden, BOOM, a new thought or idea pops into our heads. For example, relationships. How many times have we been attracted to a new relationship? Now I'm not necessarily referring to a serious relationship, but that could be an example, I want to look at the example of a friendship. 

Everyone needs and wants friends. And there are all kinds of friends in this world. There are friends who we are attracted to because they look a certain way, there are friends we are attracted to because we have mutual interests, there are friends we are attracted to because of their popularity, there are friends we are attracted to because we know they will be with us for the long haul when things in life get tough. We've all been attracted to those various kinds of friends, I know I have. At different stages of my own life I found myself getting "attracted" to all of those kinds of friends. But God had a different plan. He lead me to a group of friends that are exactly what I need, what He desires me to have. Friends who will be there when things get tough, friends who challenge me every single day of my Christian life to be the Christian I am supposed to be. Friends who will drop to their knees and pray right alongside me when I do or when I need to. Friends who lift me up, and don't tear me down, friends who are genuine in their love for Christ just as I am. Friends who help me to become the holy person I am meant to be and hopefully lead me to the ultimate vocation God wants me to have.

You are probably wondering how I got to this point of understanding and realizing what my true vocation actually is. Well let me tell you, it didn't happen overnight. It's been a very long process. At least a lifetime of experiences both good and bad, and sometimes awful. As well as a long period of discernment and prayer. Anyways, back to discernment.

Let's move on to the second stage. Latency. Latency is an idea that just won't die, it won't go away as much as you and I would want it to. It sits with you, it gnaws at you, you keep coming back to the same idea over and over and over again to the point that it's almost annoying. Trust me I've been there it's not a fun stage. I sat in this stage for a very long time before moving on to the others. This is the stage where no matter how many times I prayed about my personal vocation, there was always that one thought and idea that wouldn't go away, no matter how hard I wished it would.

Moving right along on this path of discernment is stage three response. This one I think is pretty self explanatory. Response is talking to someone. Talking to God, talking to a close friend or confidant, a spiritual director, a priest, a sister, a family member someone who has your best interests at heart. I can't tell you how many times I turned to friends, my priest friends, and my spiritual director about this. I think it got to the point that they all wanted me to just stop talking about it. I think God might of even got tired of me talking about it but He always let me bring it to Him and tell Him about it in my prayer. Those prayers in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep and was so confused about things going on in the various situations of my life, those prayers as I sat before Him in adoration just begging Him to help me figure this out, take away this fear, this helplessness, this longing, this desire, this attraction and latency.

Stage four is the decision stage. It's the stage where you start to move exclusively to that original idea or thought. The stage where you know what you have to do, you've pretty much made the choice as to what you are going to do and want to do about it, but need to gather the courage to move to the last stage. Stage four is where I presently sit, it's the stage where I sit and pray for the wisdom, the words and the courage to put the decision I've made into action.

The last stage being engagement. This is the pretty serious stage. Engagement is the stage where you take action, you're aware of the situation, you understand it, now you need to take action. It's only when you take action that the discernment process is complete and you can move on and forward from the idea.

It's kind of funny how I came to the conclusion of my decision. It only just occurred yesterday through a short and random conversation I was having with the vocation director as we walked back to his car outside my office. His simple statement of "you're not quiet there yet," made me realize I need to get out of my "decision stage comfort zone." I need to take action and follow to where I know God is ultimately leading. Now it's time to pray for the courage, and the words to take action and make that decision come to play.

Know that I am praying right alongside all of you who read this. I am praying for you, with you and through you, that we all have the courage, to follow and discern the vocation God has for each and everyone of us.

May God Bless you Always in All Ways.

Ministry Morsel

So back in 2011 I had an idea.

One of my many personal ministries in life is to minister to young adults and think I have been pretty successful so far. Granted, I'm not perfect, and neither is my ministering.

However, since 2008 I have been active in the St. Charles Borromeo Young Adult Ministry, both as a participant and the last few years as a leader. Those of us involved in the leadership decided we wanted to reach out in a different way to our members and the community.

This is where my idea comes into play. I came up with the idea that each of us in a leadership role could once a month reflect on either things in our personal lives, our prayer lives or things going on in the ministry or anything really...anyways the idea was born and since 2011 each month one of the leaders has written a reflection.

Now that I'm campus minister I thought it would be neat to share my reflections from that ministry with my college students as well. So, here's my ministry morsel for the month of September. I know I'm a few weeks early but  I feel what I needed to say was relevant, and if it helps someone in the process along the way even better.

It’s hard to believe that summer is over and we are thinking about Fall, going back to school and that the winter months are just around the corner. It is my hope that everyone had a restful, fun and productive summer. I know mine was. As I was reflecting on what important lesson I learned this summer I realized I couldn’t just take away one. There were two major lessons I learned or needed to be reminded about. The first being that it’s okay to be broken. Now I don’t mean physically broken, but spiritually, mentally and emotionally broken. How many times have we found ourselves (at least I know I have many times) feeling lost, confused, hurt, angry and just not understanding what is going on in our world, in our lives, and in our relationships. Do we in those times suffer silently or do we seek out help? For me it wasn’t just one thing that caused this brokenness, it was a number of things, but thankfully through lots of personal prayer and the prayers, love and support of family and great friends I overcame the brokenness that I was experiencing. The second lesson that seems to resonate with me was that it was time to really take a look at my life as a Christian/Catholic and reevaluate. Was I really walking the walk or just talking the talk? I did a lot of reevaluating this summer and realized I didn’t like the person I was. I needed to “die to self ” the attached link explains it so much better then I ever could (listen to the July 7 homily here: http://www.umdcatholic.org/homiliesmain) Just as the flowers and grass die, we need to die. Now this is a lesson that had been taught to me for years. I just didn’t get it's full meaning. I would do okay for a little while and then it was right back to doing the same old things I used to do. The bad habits, the cycles, the routines. I wasn’t dying to self. I was making everything about me. We find ourselves getting so wrapped up in our daily lives, our own problems, or own wants, needs and desires at times we don’t look to what is going on with others. Others in our lives, others in our workplaces, our classrooms, our church, our world or our local communities. How did I “die to self”? I started praying even harder and listening even more. I turned to what has become one of my favorite prayers called the Litany of Humility. It’s a prayer that every time I take it out and pray it brings me to my knees, both literally and figuratively. It reminds me that I need to humble myself. It’s not me that needs the accolades, or the praise or the pat on the back. I need to want those things for others so that I can become the holy and better person that God wants me to be. I admit I’ve got a long way to go and am still a work in progress. The one thing however, that gives me comfort is that I am not alone. In my struggles, in my pain, in my problems, in my life God is right there with me, with us and He wants and desires great things for me, and for all of us. So look for the Litany of Humility next time you need a place to find comfort or need to reevaluate, or need to "die to self." It’s only in the loving arms of our God that peace can be found, our brokenness can be healed and we can truly die to self. Know that I am praying for each one of you. God Bless. ~ Carol