So back in 2011 I had an idea.
One of my many personal ministries in life is to minister to young adults and think I have been pretty successful so far. Granted, I'm not perfect, and neither is my ministering.
However, since 2008 I have been active in the St. Charles Borromeo Young Adult Ministry, both as a participant and the last few years as a leader. Those of us involved in the leadership decided we wanted to reach out in a different way to our members and the community.
This is where my idea comes into play. I came up with the idea that each of us in a leadership role could once a month reflect on either things in our personal lives, our prayer lives or things going on in the ministry or anything really...anyways the idea was born and since 2011 each month one of the leaders has written a reflection.
Now that I'm campus minister I thought it would be neat to share my reflections from that ministry with my college students as well. So, here's my ministry morsel for the month of September. I know I'm a few weeks early but I feel what I needed to say was relevant, and if it helps someone in the process along the way even better.
It’s hard to believe that summer is over and we are thinking about Fall, going back to school and that the winter months are just around the corner. It is my hope that everyone had a restful, fun and productive summer. I know mine was. As I was reflecting on what important lesson I learned this summer I realized I couldn’t just take away one. There were two major lessons I learned or needed to be reminded about. The first being that it’s okay to be broken. Now I don’t mean physically broken, but spiritually, mentally and emotionally broken. How many times have we found ourselves (at least I know I have many times) feeling lost, confused, hurt, angry and just not understanding what is going on in our world, in our lives, and in our relationships. Do we in those times suffer silently or do we seek out help? For me it wasn’t just one thing that caused this brokenness, it was a number of things, but thankfully through lots of personal prayer and the prayers, love and support of family and great friends I overcame the brokenness that I was experiencing. The second lesson that seems to resonate with me was that it was time to really take a look at my life as a Christian/Catholic and reevaluate. Was I really walking the walk or just talking the talk? I did a lot of reevaluating this summer and realized I didn’t like the person I was. I needed to “die to self ” the attached link explains it so much better then I ever could (listen to the July 7 homily here: http://www.umdcatholic.org/homiliesmain) Just as the flowers and grass die, we need to die. Now this is a lesson that had been taught to me for years. I just didn’t get it's full meaning. I would do okay for a little while and then it was right back to doing the same old things I used to do. The bad habits, the cycles, the routines. I wasn’t dying to self. I was making everything about me. We find ourselves getting so wrapped up in our daily lives, our own problems, or own wants, needs and desires at times we don’t look to what is going on with others. Others in our lives, others in our workplaces, our classrooms, our church, our world or our local communities. How did I “die to self”? I started praying even harder and listening even more. I turned to what has become one of my favorite prayers called the Litany of Humility. It’s a prayer that every time I take it out and pray it brings me to my knees, both literally and figuratively. It reminds me that I need to humble myself. It’s not me that needs the accolades, or the praise or the pat on the back. I need to want those things for others so that I can become the holy and better person that God wants me to be. I admit I’ve got a long way to go and am still a work in progress. The one thing however, that gives me comfort is that I am not alone. In my struggles, in my pain, in my problems, in my life God is right there with me, with us and He wants and desires great things for me, and for all of us. So look for the Litany of Humility next time you need a place to find comfort or need to reevaluate, or need to "die to self." It’s only in the loving arms of our God that peace can be found, our brokenness can be healed and we can truly die to self. Know that I am praying for each one of you. God Bless. ~ Carol
