It's been awhile...

I realized it's been almost two months since I have had a chance to write anything...what a busy but fruitful two months this has been.

March/April brought Lent/Holy Week/Easter, my birthday and TEC 104 all within three weeks of each other. Talk about craziness. Though I have to admit, I got much more down time then I had anticipated especially during the TEC weekend that I had the honor and privilege of working. Any one on one time with God for me is a gift and a blessing. I hate to admit it, but the older and busier I get the less I have taken time to spend one on one with God before the Blessed Sacrament, and I am determined to try my very best to change that in the later half of this year.

As April gave way to May my family had a life style change, my father retired from the trade that he worked in for 46 years, helping a good friend with a project, and there is also the celebration of graduation for 4 of my Newman Campus Ministry students this weekend. I am so proud of all of them and the fine young men and the young woman they have become. Though I've only had a year and a half with them as Campus Minister, they have continued to leave a lasting impression on me. I am very excited for them and the future opportunities they are getting to experience as they all begin new chapters in their lives.

That being said, another busy summer ahead, more graduate school classes (the light at the end of that tunnel is much nearer then it has been), the annual Campus Ministry Leadership Institute at John Carroll University in the beginning of June, my annual mission trip with my Mission of Hope family to Detroit at the end of July, and somewhere in there softball season and hopefully a little bit of vacation time as well.

A good reminder for me and for all of us as the busy time of the summer gets underway and people head off on Summer Vacations, barbecues and picnics, and all the other aspects of summer..."our hearts are restless until they rest in God." Make sure you get some good God time in as well, just because you are on vacation, doesn't mean you can take one from God, he never takes a vacation from you!

Peace and All Good!

~ Carol

Life/Lent's Sacrifices

Okay so I'm not gonna lie. Lent this year for me has probably been one of the most spiritually challenging ones of my life. But I also think it's going to turn out to be one of the most fruitful, after some heavy pruning, as well.

All throughout Lent we hear about how we are supposed to give things up and sacrifice and pray. I tell you I've prayed more in the last three weeks, been to Mass more in the last three weeks, wept more, cried more, struggled more, and down right didn't like what I discovered through all those moments.

Don't get me wrong, the Mass part, that's been amazing...thank you Holy Spirit for the gift of wonder and awe which you gave to me the day I made my confirmation :)...I don't know if it's been because of the spiritual and emotional battles I've been fighting with personally, but that has been the greatest gift I've gotten so far this Lenten season. The other thing that I've found that's often left me in wonder and also a little awe this Lent are the wonderful homilies I've heard from the different priests who were celebrating the Masses I attended. Granted, most were at my parish but a few weren't and the ones that weren't left me with lessons as much as the ones that were. I think the homily that has really hit home a lot with me this Lent was one given by my pastor Fr. Joe. Fr. Joe is about five months younger then me so for anyone under the age of 34 we probably seem ancient to you...and for those of you older then that, we may seem as if we are just young pups still wet behind the ears :)

Anyway, getting back to this homily thing. It was just 11 days ago when Fr. Joe was supposed to undergo a kidney transplant. Unfortunately as has been the case for him over the last year he hit a road block and the transplant surgery was put on hold (As an aside, if you could please lift Fr. Joe and his donor Jim up in prayer I would be grateful and I know they would be too). So at the Mass that was supposed to be a celebration of a "successful" transplant it turned into a celebration of life, and the gift that Fr. Joe and his donor Jim, who happens to be a fellow parishioner with me, were able to partake in.

As Fr. Joe shared his story through priesthood and his health journey, which us parishioners have been walking along with him this last year, he shared 4 lessons, that I have been carrying with me over the last 11 days since I heard them. The first lesson is patience. What a lesson that is. See I am one of the least patient people you will ever meet. I get very impatient over many things, having to wait in long lines at the store, having to wait on people who are running behind when we have a specific time to meet (I am almost always early), I get impatient waiting for people to return a text message, and most of all I get impatient in prayer. So as Fr. Joe was sharing his stories of patience I found myself humming in my head a song that I learned in a school music program back in elementary school...."have patience, have patience, don't be in such a hurry, when you get impatient you only start to worry, remember, remember, that God is patient too, and think of all the times when others have to wait for you!" Corny I know but it's stuck with me all these years and I find myself over and over again humming that song quietly to myself when I start to get impatient with someone else, and found myself singing it in my head as I listened to the rest of his longer than normal homily. The night was all about him so it was okay :)

The second lesson that Fr. Joe shared in his homily that night was prayer. Well, duh! There's a no brainer. But he stopped me in my tracks figuratively when he said that. I realized I wasn't giving my prayer life the time and attention it deserved. Sure I was praying my rote prayers but it was lacking the richness that it's had in the past. Thankfully, between this homily and a invisible WHACK! over the head from God, it's gotten back on track, and I've spent many fruitful hours before the Lord in Adoration and prayer.

The third lesson Fr. Joe talked about was perseverance. Now if anyone would have wanted to give up by now it would be Fr. Joe, but surprisingly he hasn't. He shared that yes there had been times he wanted to just give up and asked the question why me? but that little spark of something that we all have called determination kicked in and he's successfully over come every obstacle so far that's come his way. He says it's due to the wonderful care of his family who helped get him healthy through his hospital stays, the words of encouragement from friends, parishioners and others and most importantly through prayer and lots of it! How often do we find ourselves wanting to just give up and throw in the towel? Don't get me wrong it's not always that cut and dry, sometimes you really do just need to give up and let go in certain circumstances especially when things are not life giving anymore and aren't really bearing fruit.

The last lesson Fr. Joe told us was attentiveness. Again here came that WHACK!, my head was starting to throb at that point...LOL...but he went on to say and point out how all of his struggles and his health journey this last year have helped him become more attentive. Not just as a pastor, but as a friend, a son and a child of God. He said he now notices the little things that often get over looked, the people we don't always appreciate, the looks on people's faces if they are happy or sad, and lots of other things we often overlook. Know anyone in your life that you are overlooking and not being attentive to? Anything in your life that you are overlooking, and not being attentive to?

This Lent so far, seeing as how we are only two weeks in and still have about four weeks to go has also taught me a lot about life, and a lot about what it means to truly sacrifice. Now some haven't been huge sacrifices, in fact some have been very small...but one thing I've learned is that it really isn't a sacrifice if it isn't done out of love.

If you've ever made a TEC retreat you understand what I am talking about, and for those of you who haven't well let me try to explain. The greatest sacrifice any of us as both Catholics and Christians have ever been given was done out of love on a cross by a man. A man who gave His life, so that we might have life. Talk about love, and sacrifice.

Speaking of love here is a great saying that we have in the TEC community that I belong to here in Northeast Ohio. This was on a plaque that was attached to a statue at a church the community visited in LeRoy, NY back in January while we were on our way to Syracuse, the bottom part is what we say often at our retreats...

When we talk about love it often loses it's true meaning. Love is one of the most over used words in the English language. I am sure whoever came up with that word never intended for it to be used in the way it has in society today. Some examples would be, I love my phone, I love my car, I love my dog, I love this, I love that....love, love, love. It doesn't mean anything anymore.

I've always been a big believer in the often heard phrase..."actions speak louder than words," do your actions everyday show the love that's in your heart as a Catholic or as a Christian to your fellow neighbor? Do you show your love for others by holding a door for someone, or smiling at them? Do you show love by dropping what you are doing and going to help a friend in need? Do you show love by praying for someone you may not even know? Do you give your love away? or do you keep it locked up because by loving someone we are bound to be hurt? 

Yes with love also comes hurt and pain. But isn't it worth it? Isn't it worth the small and even the large sacrifices we make for our friends, for our families, for those who might be strangers? When is the last time you called a friend just because, or asked them to spend time with you? When was the last time you watched a child sleeping peacefully, and got rid of all other distractions and just watched?

It's those little moments we are called to love. For that's what love is. It's moments when we drop everything for a friend, or go out of our way to do something for someone else, it's picking up the telephone (novel concept I know with the ease and convenience of texting) and have a conversation with them. It's those moments when you are out with people who are "important" to you that you put down your cell phone, your iPad, your laptop, your digital device and reconnect and show them how much you love them. Yes, it's even in those moments that are hard and we want to smack someone upside the head or shake some sense into them, or when we are madder then hornets who have just been woken up, with someone we are called to love them. Jesus didn't stop loving the woman at the well just because she was a Samaritan and He was a Jew. (Prelude to this the Third Sunday of Lent's Gospel) Just because she was a sinner, and was doing things that were not good He never stopped loving her. What did He do? He sacrificed for her....He sat talking with her when he knew He could be killed by just being in her presence (Jews and Samaritans at that time in history were not supposed to be anywhere near each other in public, and most wells in the towns and villages that Jesus ministered in were right smack dab in the center of them where everyone could see them and access them, it could have caused scandal and severe punishment such as death if they were seen together). Just as He sacrificed for all of us as he hung on a wooden cross. So the next time you are wrapped up in your own little world, rushing here and there, busy with other things and distractions, busy with what you want, what you need, what you desire, take a moment to STOP and think about how Jesus dropped everything He could have done or wanted to do and gave His life to you and for you so that you could have the life you have today.

May your Lenten journey be a blessed one.

Peace,

Carol

The Spirituality of St. Ignatius...& My take on it

We are already one month and 7 days into a new year and I can not believe how much I have learned in such a short amount of time. Guess the old adage of "you're never too old to learn something new," is true.

In the last two weeks, I've learned a lot. I've learned how to use all the "new" media as a tool in my ministry (notice I didn't say work, there's a difference). And just last night I learned I dig St. Ignatius and his spirituality. Okay so while this may not be a shocker for some people, this is a spiritual break through for me. I finally get all the "theology" and "spiritual" knowledge my professors and my spiritual director have been trying to get me to see over the last three years (Cue the light bulb).

While at a local "Theology on Tap"  (TOT) with about 40 or so other "Young Adults" and some not so "young" adults I learned to truly appreciate the beauty and simplicity of Ignatius' spiritual exercises (No wonder I love Pope Francis so much!) The topic for the evening was "Does the Pope really expect us to get naked?" Now I know this may sound a bit racy...trust me it wasn't. It was the presenter's (who happens to be a wonderful person and someone I am glad to call a friend and mentor) way of getting our attention to draw us into the spirituality of Pope Francis and the other Jesuits in the world. It was also her way of getting those of us in the room to have a conversation about worldliness and how we'd define it, and show us a new way that we can encounter God each day.

She shared some great stuff with us, even a video on the man who was disfigured that Pope Francis embraced and how it's changed his life (watch that video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2XhoxuwaAc), and the concepts of detachment and Ignatian Indifference, through a simple breakdown to help us understand how we really do need to "get naked" spiritually (by dying to self) and look at areas in our lives that maybe aren't so pleasant and pretty, things that we do that we would be ashamed to admit. No one ever said they were perfect right?

The point I want to make is this, how does the example of Pope Francis, and the spirituality of St. Ignatius effect me or us who are Catholic or even Christian?

As was explained at TOT, detachment through the spiritual exercises (yes the ones from St. Ignatius) helps us to uncover our compulsions and attachments in life so that we can let go (detach) of our idols (or things) and take the risk of meeting God a new way each day.

 A great example of Ignatian indifference from the talk was how Pope Francis is always climbing out of his "Popemobile" and walking amongst the people. I related to what the speaker had to say, that every time she or I see Pope Francis climb out of the pope mobile or walking somewhere amongst the crowds, there's a part of both of us that wants to shout at the Holy Father and say "are you crazy, get back into the Pope mobile, you could get hurt!" She was referring to the shooting of Pope John Paul II, I was thinking along the same lines.  Now mind you I don't remember a lot of what happened when John Paul II was shot, I was only 1 at the time, but I do remember hearing about the after effects and how it changed him and the way he ministered. This is where Pope Francis shows us Ignatian indifference. The concept of Ignatian indifference comes into play through a sense of being detached from creatures (things, like the pope mobile), having an absolute love for God (Pope Francis! Need I say more??? How many times do we see pictures of him kneeling in prayer before the altar with rosary beads clutched in his hand), seeking God in all things (yes in even the bad stuff), and lovingly choosing whatever God wills (that last papal conclave ring a bell).

Did you catch that last part...God's will. Not my will or what I want or what you may want. What God wants. How do we know what God wants for us. Simple through prayer, through listening to what others who believe the way we do are trying to tell us, by spending time in scripture. That's the only way we will know God's will.

Still not making sense I'll use the examples that the presenter gave us. 

We will look at Ignatian spirituality through 3 lenses relationships, things and desires of the heart.

Let's look at the lens of relationships first. The principle and foundation of relationships is this: the human person is created to praise, reverence, and serve God Our Lord, and by doing so, to save his or her soul. Sounds simple enough right? What does this look like through non-attachment (detachment): it's the ability to accept wholeheartedly that I am (we are, you are) a beloved child of God. Again simple enough. Moving on....it's also the ability to maintain an emotional bond of love, concern and caring without a need to control, fix, rescue, blame or change the other. WHOA! Kind of mind blowing isn't it. It's what we are taught (at least if you are Catholic or even Christian) what love, marriage and relationships are all about. I know guys (those who may be reading this of the male gender) you will tell me: what do I need a girlfriend or relationship for all she will want to do is change me! WRONG! Apparently you weren't paying attention to what I just said...it's about maintaining an emotional bond of love without a need to change the other. We as a society are sadly teaching our young people, and it's being carried with them into adulthood, that in order to be in a successful relationship we need to change the other. WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Love isn't about changing someone, it's about excepting them for who they are, what they are, and the way they are. That's it plain and simple. Get it? Good.

Now, let's take a look at the lens of things. We all have things. Cars, cell phones, iPods, iPhones, computers, digital TVs etc. But do we look at things the way St. Ignatius does? The principle and foundation of things is this: all other things on the face of the earth are created for human beings (that's us) in order to HELP them pursue the end for which they are created. Notice the word help in there. Help means to assist with a need, something we all have, the need to communicate and be connected, the need to get around from place to place, the need to have shelter and food and clothing. Things don't need to consume us and make us rely on them for everything. I don't know about you but my cell phone or my iPod won't feed me, yours might....just kidding :) St. Ignatius also says that it follows from this that one must use other created things (notice he said things and not people), in so far as they HELP towards one's end, and free oneself from them, in so far as they are obstacles to one's end. You may be thinking what they heck does that mean? Let's look at the first part of this. "one must use other created things, technology for example, to help (there's that word again) towards one's end. What is one's end...one's end goal is to get to heaven. How do we do that, by being holy, and helping each other get holy, and become saints here on earth. Now the second part, "they free oneself from them as the are obstacles to one's end." You might be scratching your head thinking what? Here's how I think of it. Say you have this thing, maybe an addiction to your phone, drugs, alcohol, pornography whatever it could be. And this thing (addiction) consumes you. It's all you think about, it's taking over your life, pulling you away from the relationships and people in your life that we all want. This thing is taking you away from being that beloved child of God. It's not serving him, it's serving ourselves. And when we serve only ourselves and not God or others it's a pretty lonely and sad life we live. Make more sense now? We need to put aside, or overcome, or get rid of our things and make room for God to come in and lead us to His will. Only when we realize that can we truly be accept that we are a beloved child of God. After all he sacrificed (or gave up) the only thing he had...his entire life there on a wooden cross, broken and bleeding for all of us. If that's not love...then I don't know what is.

Finally let's take a look at the last lens, that of desires of the heart. To fully understand the desires of the heart the principle and foundation is to do this, we need to make ourselves indifferent to all created things, provided the matter is subject to our free choice and there is no other prohibition. Thus, as far as we are concerned, we should not want health more than illness, wealth more than poverty, fame more that disgrace, a long life more than a short one, and similarly for all the rest, but we should desire and choose only what helps us more towards the end for which we are created. What's this saying? It's saying that we have to be indifferent, we need to be detached from all creatures (or things) in a way that we don't lose sight of God, we never stop seeking Him, and always lovingly choose whatever God wills. I know it's not easy. No one ever said life would be. We have to remain detached and indifferent however if we truly want the best relationships, the best things and the desires of our hearts. 

However, there is that human thing. We as humans try to substitute human nature for understanding of these lens. Here's what Henri Nouwen says are our human substitutes for the distorted views of love we have - remember these are not God's love - but our poor attempts and human substitutes for it.

Exculsive love - "To love me, you must love others less" the result of this human substitute - Vanity - you must see something special in me (no wonder it's one of the 7 deadly sins)

Possessive love - "If you love me, you will pay special attention to me" the result of this human substitute - jealousy - why are you interested in someone/something else? (there's that sin thing again)

Manipulative love - "If you love me, you will do extra things for me" the result - anger - why did you let me down/reject me?

So as you can see total opposites of what St. Ignatius and Pope Francis are trying to teach and show all of us. The only way is love. The only way is through the desires of our hearts which should be to be in relationship with God, with the help of other humans at times, not focused on things (turn off the cell phones and TV when others are around and sit down and have a meal or a conversation together) and help one another grow closer to God become the holy people we are meant to be and become saints to each other hear on earth.

God Bless,

~ Carol

Happy New Year

Happy New Year! Hope your holidays whatever faith tradition you are were a wonderful time of family and friends and fun!

As I have been reflecting a lot on all that has happened in the last year, and trust me when I say it's been a rough one, the amount of change and growth that has happened with me is amazing. It's like I've become a completely new person. That's the neat thing about the new year. We get to start all over again fresh with no mistakes. I thought this was an appropriate theme for a New Year post seeing as in the Roman Catholic tradition we celebrate this weekend the baptism of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I always love a baptism. To see new parents with so much joy in their hearts and on their faces as they celebrate their new little person, and the reactions of that new little person, as they get the water poured over their little head. It makes me wonder how Mary and Joseph looked, and what they were feeling as they watched their son Jesus, be welcomed into their Jewish faith. Now while the events that occur at a Catholic baptism and a Jewish one are different in a way they are the same. They welcome the new baby into a community of love, faith and support that goes back hundreds and hundreds of years. What an awesome gift that is for both the parents and the baby and all who are there to celebrate with them.

For Catholics, baptism is when we are made pure, and a new image in Christ, where we are cleansed of original sin, and are commissioned to go forth and share the good news of Jesus. A rather incredible and overwhelming task for that little person, which unfortunately they won't even begin to understand until much later in their lives, if they ever really do. At the same time what a tremendous responsibility for the parents. They are promising before God, and on occasion the entire faith community, that they will raise the child to the best of their abilities and instruct them in the ways of their faith. Such a monumental task in our modern age. I applaud the parents who do this faithfully everyday and continue to pray with all of them that their son or daughter will one day carry on the great mission of evangelization that each of us are called to.

So think of all the "new" things you can do this year. This year I made a resolution to just enjoy the moments of everyday life and those who share our lives with us, as well as to continue to be like Jesus to others whether they are friend or foe. I will do my best to love them like Jesus did. We've been given a clean slate to move forward, put what happened last year, good or bad, behind us and start again anew. What an awesome gift!

May God Bless You Always,
Carol